Hiya

Now I done and went I forgot that I wrote this, but Maxine came to me a'shoutin', "Winnie! Winnie! Someone wants your advice." I'm glad to know someone around here's gotta full deck. Lord knows it ain't me.
Here goes nothing—

Withamandeggs said...

Dear Winnie, I am married to a great guy. The problem is, things are on a fast, downhill slide. We never talk, I feel lonely, and I can't seem to get through to him. Add to that the fact that I am young, but about to dry right up, if you know what I mean; my eyes are starting to roam. I need a man, preferably mine. What do I do???

Well, honey. Sounds like you've got yourself in a pickle. Speaking of pickles, makes me think of cucumbers. And, cucumbers make me think of vibrators. I'm not right sure how come, but you gotta remember I'm 91. Getcha some good rechargeable batteries and have a ball. Balls remind me of cherry tomatoes. I guess you could get real fuckin' fancy and design your own play toys, or you could just make a salad. Some carrots'd be good for them roaming eyes. Ain't nothin' wrong with a little look-see, long as you don't go moochin' off of someone else's plate at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Lord, I'm hungry! I ain't gotta fuckin' clue what that's supposed to mean. Maybe you can figure it out.

Now about that no talking bullshit. One of my husbands was like that. Probably done went out and married you a gawldarn Scorpio. They usually ain't got nothin' to say that means much. But the best way to get someone to talk to you is to ask them a querstion. If they don't answer, ask 'em why they ain't answering ya. Sometimes to get someone to talk, you gotta make'em. And, you gotta shut your trap and listen. Now I ain't no psychologist, so my advice ain't worth a grain of salt. Speakin' of salt, good luck spicin' up your love life. I gotta customer snoopin' over my shoulder, so I'll leave ya with that.