Barn Snowball

That bookstore I was tellin' ya about in Syracuse called Barn Snowball, well, they ain't gonna have that book about me. I guess I'm too low class for 'em. I told L.R. "Eller" Williamson on the telephone that it had been a week of bad luck. That poor soul on that Star Search Idol show got the boot, and now this. I'll tell y'all like I told him, "Keep your chin up and a Band-Aid in your purse. Ain't no time for tears when the clock's a-tickin'." Y'all know how far I went to get to the center of the Rockette's dancin' line way back when. If ya don't, I sure as hell ain't gonna tell ya on here. Honestly, folks, I don't know what the hell y'all are waitin' for. The book ain't gonna get any cheaper. I got wind the other day of an Italian woman who makes $150,000 a year doing some shit at an office, and she borrowed the book instead of gettin' her own. That beats all I ever saw! Them's the peoples' funerals you just don't go to. Send used flowers—just to make your point—but bathe the fuckin' cat that day. That's all I got to say about people who don't support other people. 

Well, Maxine and Luciano are the happiest damn couple ya ever did see. Maxine's an interesting character. She's prettier than anything you'd see on the silver screen, but her personality comes and goes like a dizzy bird. Something's always brewin' in that head of hers. I'm glad she met her Argentine prince. He's the same person everyday, and I'd bet my bottom dollar that Luciano'll help her to relax.

I ain't got much to say. It's pourin' down rain—bucketfuls! We got the lights turned off in the cafe and it's as cozy as your grandmama's sofa. My eyes are barely open and this bright computer television screen makes me even sleepier. 

Stacy Stewart, the mayor's wife, is gigglin' over a self-help book towards the back. Maybe Eller should write self-help next time. There always blabbin' on the TV about makin' yourself better. Whatever happened to the days when folks just wanted to be entertained?

Eller did mention that his book was going to be talked about at the Gay Center in New York City in their reading group on Thursday. Ain't nothin' like a bunch of homosexuals to brighten a day! Or decorate a house! Or dress ya up right pretty!

I give ya'll my love.

Edwina Collins

Co-owner of the Theater Cafe, Prairie Springs, Texas