Car wrecks, wigs and such

Thank the good Lord in Heaven, I haven't been driving much. I know the others in town are grateful, too. Oh, I still got my wheels and get where I need to go, but like everything else in my life, it's because I'm old. Ain't nothin' wrong with me, but it's always my fault. Someone could run a red light—the red light—and broadside me, and somehow it would be my fuckin' fault 'cause I'm old. 

I got me a real long letter today in my mailbox on the computer. Some poor woman in Dallas had her a car accident. Bless her fuckin' heart. I know all about them wrecks. I had me two, yes'm, last year. Neither were my fault, mind you. The first one I lost my wig, but the second time, I held to it like a dog to a bone. Wigs aren't cheap—especially the red-haired ones. When's the last time you saw a redheaded Chinese person? All my wigs say 'Made in China.' That's one thing you'd think we could manufacture right here in the US of fuckin' A where people grow red hair. 

Anyway, back to my point—What I was talkin' about?

I got me a letter today in my computer mailbox. It was a real long one, and this woman was talkin' about a car wreck. I was in a car wreck twice last year, the first one—I beg your pardon.

Lordy! Memory lapse is one of the benefits of aging. I'll chew on some rosemary tonight. That's good for your memory, they say. Since I can't remember who said it, I cain't right declare how good it works, but I figure it cain't hurt. 

Tonight that American Idol show was on. It's a big fuckin' to-do, I'll say. Anna and Kyle even had a little party at their place where we watched it together. We had a good time. Thank God, Anna didn't make those disgusting greens that taste like fish. She did make her tasty punch that makes everybody happy, and we watched the little girls sing their songs. They were songs from way back in the eighties. I was in my eighties in the eighties, so to be honest, I ain't never heard of most of 'em, but I thought that Kady did a real nice job with whatever the hell that song was. She has some nice tits on her. I never had me any that size, and now that I'm 91, I consider that a blessing or I'd have to watch my step. 

After the show was over, we called a number on the telephone to vote. I thought that was the smartest thing since sliced bread. Why can't we elect our presidents that way? Considerin' what we got now, and we went to the votin' booth for it, I don't see how it could hurt. Gettin' back, Anna voted for the skinny girl who didn't even have the energy to stand up while she sang. Poor girl was sittin' down on the stage. And Kyle voted for my girl Kady. I drank me several cups of punch, but I sobered up before I drove. I don't drive much anymore since I had two wrecks last year. Neither one was my fault, and in the first one, my wig flew off—Aw, hell!

I'd better get some sleep.

Toodle-oo!

W.C.