This all happened yesterday. I needed a day to recuperate.
It was just after three in the afternoon when these uptight men came in for coffee. I knew something was fishy from the get-go. You don't live as long as I do without learning the good guy from the bad one, and rarely does good news follow a man wearing a short-sleeved white button-down. I had one eye on the men, and the other was eyeing out a route to get to my gun.
Pawpaw is doing fine, by the way.
Luciano was wiping off some tables, Maxine was visiting with Kyle, that's Anna's friend, and I, as usual, was the only one paying attention to Starsky and fuckin'-Hutch. I couldn't figure 'em out, but they weren't here to sip on coffee, that was for damn sure. I went to the register, making sure they ordered something before ruining my day, and asked who they were. When I found out, I had to act fast. I fixed 'em up their coffees and slapped a piece of carrot cake on a plate, took their money, and then had me a heart attack. I held my breath, clutched my left arm, and fell to the ground. We have a nice little soft rubber mat behind the register that served as a comfy landing pad. I heard everyone in the cafe gasp and Luciano ran over. I whispered three letters in his ear, knowing the rest was up to him. "I.N.S."
He stood up and announced he was going to call an ambulance. He dialed the number and then said he was off to fetch me some aspirin. He didn't say "fetch," that's my word, but he ran back into my apartment behind the hutch and out the door that leads to the alley way. Remember I told you that was poor plannin' the other day 'cause we have to drag the trash through my room? Well, they say ain't nothin' happen without a reason. I guess that's true.
Meanwhile, everyone in the Theater Cafe gathered around to watch. All I did was open my eyes real big like I was scared, and let my tongue hang out of my mouth. I ain't never had a heart attack before, but some of my husbands have so I knew what to do. Even if I didn't do it right, they'd think it was cause I was so old. Maxine was as white as a ghost. I was 'fraid she was going to faint then and there, but she held up until the ambulance arrived, loaded me on a stretcher and wheeled me away.
She hopped in her car and followed me to the hospital and left Kyle in charge of the cafe. I found all this shit out later, but the two men in white shirts asked Kyle about Luciano, and Kyle said he'd never heard of him, but that there was a latin boy working at the Save-All. He said it because he knew it wudn't true. The Save-All hadn't hired a non-white since they opened their doors.
So I didn't have to pay for the ambulance out of my pocket, I belched and made a miraculous recovery. I told them doctors I'd been having problem with my gasses, and "swore to lay off the refried beans and hollow-penis peppers." Then Maxine drove us back over to the cafe. I explained everything on the way.
We were on the street behind the Dairy Queen when Maxine spotted Luciano hiding next to the dumpster. We turned in and pulled him into the car and went over to Maxine's house.
It was there, when it was just the three of us, that he got down on one knee and finally pulled out the gawldamn ring. I'd been waitin' so long, I had to find me a chair.
I'd planned on finishin' the whole story tonight, but I didn't figure it'd take me this long to type out the first part. I'll tell y'all about the party tomorrow. What a friggin' barrel of fun.
Plus, I ain't received not one letter asking me a question, so I'm headin' to bed...and I gotta give PawPaw some vittles.
My love,
Winnie
No comments:
Post a Comment